Discovering the Phases of Matrescence

Ever feel like you disappeared when you became a mum? Like the person you used to be got swallowed up by nappies, midnight feeds, and endless to-do lists? That exhaustion you're feeling? It's not just tiredness. It's something deeper. Something that nobody truly talks about. It’s called matrescence: the profound identity shift that happens when you become a mum.

I reckon understanding the phases of matrescence can be a game changer. It’s not about fixing yourself or ticking boxes. It’s about recognising that your body, mind, and spirit are transforming in ways that can feel messy, raw, and beautiful all at once. So, grab your cuppa and let’s have a real yarn about what’s really going on beneath the surface of motherhood emotional transitions.

What is Matrescence and Why Does It Matter?

Matrescence is a word you might not have heard before, but it’s bloody important. It describes the process of becoming a mother; not just physically, but emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. It’s like puberty for mums, but with less chat and more confusion.

Here’s the thing - when you become a mum, your identity shifts. You’re not just you anymore. You’re someone new, someone evolving. And that shift can bring up grief, rage, joy, and everything in between. It’s okay to grieve who you were while loving who you’re becoming. Your body isn’t broken. You’re transforming.

This transformation happens in phases, and knowing what to expect can help you hold space for yourself with more kindness and less judgement.

Reflecting on motherhood through journaling

The Phases of Matrescence: What to Expect

1. The Physical Awakening

This phase starts during pregnancy and continues postpartum. Your body is changing in ways you might not have imagined. The aches, the swelling, the sleepless nights - they’re all part of this physical rebirth. But it’s not just about the body. It’s about tuning into what your body needs now, which might be very different from before.

Practical tip: Try gentle Ayurvedic self-massage (Abhyanga) with warm oils like sesame or coconut. It’s grounding and helps reconnect you with your changing body. Even five minutes before bed can make a difference.

2. The Emotional Storm

This is the phase where the emotional rollercoaster hits hard. You might feel overwhelmed, anxious, or even angry. That rage you’re feeling? It’s got something to teach you. It’s often about unmet needs, exhaustion, or the loss of your old life.

It’s bloody hard to admit these feelings because society expects mums to be endlessly grateful and happy. But here’s what I know: "your feelings are valid". You deserve to feel them without shame.

Practical tip: Find a trusted friend or support group where you can speak openly. Sometimes just naming the feelings out loud can lessen their power. Want to join online group at Intuitive Goddess Wellness...? Email back to RSVP your interest once there are more 3 or more mothers interested Shagun would open space for a low cost of $20 per session.

3. The Identity Shift

This phase is about who you are now versus who you were. You might find yourself questioning your values, your relationships, even your career. It’s a time of deep inner work and sometimes, loneliness.

This is where matrescence research shows us that many mums feel like they lose their voice. But the truth is, you’re finding a new one.

Practical tip: Start small rituals that honour your new identity. It could be as simple as lighting a candle each morning or setting an intention for the day. These acts help anchor you in your evolving self.

Finding moments of calm during motherhood transitions

4. The Spiritual Awakening

Motherhood can be a spiritual awakening, whether you expected it or not. It’s a time when many mums feel connected to something bigger than themselves. This phase can bring a sense of purpose but also vulnerability.

Ayurveda teaches us that this is a time to nurture your inner fire (Agni) and balance your energies. It’s not about perfection but about honouring your unique path.

Practical tip: Explore simple meditation or breathing exercises that fit into your busy day. Even a few deep breaths while your bub naps can help you reconnect with your spirit.

Navigating Cultural Expectations and Breaking Patterns

The thing is, cultural expectations can make matrescence even harder. There’s pressure to be the “perfect mum” who does it all without complaint. But that’s not realistic is it?. These expectations often silence mums and make them feel isolated.

I’ve seen so many mums carry generational patterns of self-sacrifice and self-silencing. Breaking these patterns is bloody hard but so worth it. You deserve to create the village you actually need - people who see you, hear you, and support you without judgement.

Practical tip: Set boundaries with grace. Saying no doesn’t make you a bad mum. It makes you a human with limits. Start with small boundaries and build from there.

Honouring the Messy Bits and Finding Your Voice

Motherhood isn’t tidy. It’s messy, complicated, and sometimes downright exhausting. But it’s also a place of deep learning and growth. It’s okay to admit when you’re struggling. It’s okay to ask for help.

Your voice matters. You don’t have to do this alone. Sharing your story can be healing - for you and for others who feel the same.

Practical tip: Write down your thoughts and feelings without censoring yourself. This can be a powerful way to process your experience and reclaim your voice.

Embracing Both the Struggle and the Beauty

Here’s the truth - matrescence is both hard and beautiful. It’s a sacred transformation that deserves to be honoured in all its complexity. You’re not broken. You’re transforming.

You deserve support that meets you where you are. You deserve to be seen and held with compassion. And you deserve to find joy in the small moments, even when the days feel long.

If you’re feeling lost or overwhelmed, know that you’re not alone. There’s a whole community of mums walking this path with you, holding space for the real, raw, and radiant parts of motherhood.

If you want to dive deeper into this transformation with personalised Ayurvedic wisdom and culturally-sensitive support, have a look at the resources and guidance available. Trust your timing and your truth - you’re exactly where you need to be.

Because at the end of the day, the most healing thing is knowing someone else gets it.

You’re not just surviving matrescence - you’re discovering the powerful, fierce, and beautiful mother you’re becoming.

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